Faith, Forgiveness, and Hope
by Sara Jaye
Summary: Yui comes to terms with many things, including her feelings for Miaka, on Christmas Eve.


"Faith, Forgiveness, and Hope"  
by Sara Jaye  
  
This is a story about love, forgiveness, and how the spirit of the holiday   
can sneak up on you when you're not looking. XD It's just a nice little   
angsty but heartwarming story about Miaka&Yui, written for the Yuletide   
project (http://www.intimations.org/yuletide/). ^^  
  
This story is set around manga volume 9, after wolf!Ashitare takes the   
Shinzaho, and takes a bit of an AU turn from there. All prior events are   
kept as they were, with the exception of Amiboshi returning around the   
time of Ashitare's "first" death.  
  
[Fushigi Yuugi isn't mine, it belongs to Watase Yuu. I'm just borrowing   
the characters for awhile.]  
  
***  
  
"Miaka, if you're going to Jonan, then so will I. We did promise we'd go   
to the same high school, right?"  
  
"You mean it, Yui-chan?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
Miaka smiled and hugged her friend tightly.  
  
"Yui-chan, you're the best! I'm so glad we're friends!"  
  
Yui smiled, wrapping her arm around Miaka.  
  
"I wouldn't let us be separated, even if it was just going to different   
high schools."  
  
***  
  
'I wouldn't let us be separated, even if it was just going to different   
high schools.'  
  
Miaka Yuuki sighed, tracing her finger along the windowpane of her room.  
  
How long ago had that been? Six months? Or was only three? A week? It was   
hard to keep track of time in the real world versus the book world.  
  
Either way, it felt like just yesterday that she and Yui had been happily   
making plans to go to high school together. That they were best friends.  
  
Yesterday seemed like a million years ago now.  
  
"Yui-chan..."  
  
So much had happened in these past few months, or however long it was.   
They'd found the mysterious book, got separated from each other repeatedly   
as one was sucked in and the other was thrown out. Miaka had met Tamahome   
and fallen in love with him, become the priestess of Suzaku, and found her   
seven Seishi.  
  
But she'd lost Yui.  
  
Her best friend was now her mortal enemy, doing everything in her power to   
hurt Miaka.  
  
'I screamed for you, over and over again, and you still didn't come! You   
only came here for Tamahome!'  
  
"That's not how I meant it!" Miaka responded out loud to the voice echoing   
in her mind. But it was no use. After all, in Yui's mind Miaka had already   
failed to save her, so hearing that only confirmed that Miaka had betrayed   
her, right? Never mind what Miaka said, no matter how hard she tried to   
tell her the truth. Nakago was handsome and more charismatic than Miaka   
could ever hope to be, so of course Yui believed him.  
  
"After all, who would *anyone* believe? A charming bastard, or a stupid   
girl who can't walk and chew gum at the same time? And he saved her. Yeah,   
me versus Mr. Perfect. Of course he's going to win," Miaka muttered,   
wrapping her arms around her knees and hugging them to her. "*And* he did   
just what she was counting on me for, and failed at!" She sighed, tears   
welling in her eyes. That always hurt more than Yui's anger at her; the   
fact that she herself had failed Yui.  
  
"Yui-chan..."  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, in her quarters at Kutou's palace, Yui Hongo sat staring   
wearily at one of her schoolbooks. Her head was beginning to ache from   
staring at it for the last two hours, but she still didn't stop. Studying   
was a distraction, and she needed to be distracted right now. Nakago   
wouldn't tell her or the others what their next move to get the Shinzaho   
was, and it was beginning to frustrate everyone. Soi and Suboshi were   
complaining very loudly (And considering how Soi apparently felt about the   
general, she was obviously *really* upset with him!), Tomo kept pacing the   
hallways, and even gentle Amiboshi, who tried to be patient with   
*everyone*, was beginning to show signs of annoyance towards Nakago.  
  
"I mean, he *killed* Ashitare's wolf form after he brought back the   
Shinzaho, and we *still* lost it," Yui muttered. She felt a twinge of   
sadness for Ashitare. Even though he'd honestly SCARED her with his   
cravings for human flesh, she'd felt sorry for him whenever Nakago beat   
him so savagely. And she had to admit, he WAS kind of cute as a wolf. "Why   
Nakago *killed* him after he won us a victory is beyond me. 'No longer of   
use'...even with the Shinzaho, surely we'd still need as many Seishi as   
possible, right? That's why Amiboshi came back around the time Ashitare   
died, right?" she mused.  
  
But in the end, they would get back the Genbu Shinzaho, find the Byakko   
Shinzaho, and summon Seiryuu. And that was what mattered, right? She'd use   
her wishes to go back to her world, leave Miaka trapped in the book, and   
get Tamahome for herself. Simple as that.  
  
'Miaka...'  
  
Yui sighed, slamming her book shut.  
  
"Why did I have to think about *her* all of a sudden?"  
  
Just then, there was a knock at the door. Yui pulled her robe closed a   
little tighter and sat up straight.  
  
"Come in," she said. The door opened, and she instantly regretted it.  
  
"Yui-sama, are you feeling well? You haven't left your room since this   
morning."  
  
"Suboshi..." Yui sighed. It wasn't that she *hated* the boy, he obviously   
cared about her and his intentions were good. But sometimes, his constant   
attentions and worship of her were quite annoying. Especially when she   
wasn't in the best of moods. "I'm fine. I just have a lot of work to get   
done," she said, not looking up from the cover of her workbook. Suboshi   
raised an eyebrow.  
  
"This is the third day in a row you've spent holed up in your room   
studying, though!" he protested. "If you wanted to go for a walk, or   
shopping or something, I'd take you!"  
  
"That's very kind of you, Suboshi, but I have a lot of work to get done if   
I'm going to pass those high school entrance exams," Yui said, opening her   
book once more.  
  
"Then can I sit here and admire you for awhile?" he asked. Yui sighed. She   
really wasn't in the mood for this.  
  
"I'd rather you didn't," she said.  
  
"Yui-sama, are you sure you're feeling all right?" Suboshi looked   
genuinely concerned. "If something's wrong, you should really tell someone   
rather than keep it inside!" Yui slammed her book shut and glared at her   
Seishi.  
  
"Nothing's wrong!" she snapped. "I'm not sick, I'm not upset about   
anything, and I don't *want* to go shopping! I just want to be left   
alone!"  
  
Suboshi stumbled backwards a little.  
  
"Y-Yui-sama!"  
  
"Don't 'Yui-sama' me! I'm up to my ears in 'Yui-sama' lately and I'm   
getting tired of it! Just leave me alone!" Yui yelled. Suboshi looked like   
she'd just slapped him across the face. He nodded silently, not daring to   
look her in the eye. His cheeks scorched with shame as he slowly backed   
out of the room.  
  
"I'll see you later then, I guess," he whispered, stepping out and closing   
the door behind him. The tone in his voice created a pang of guilt in Yui.  
  
"Suboshi..."  
  
With a cry of frustration, Yui threw down her book and collapsed on her   
bed.  
  
"Great, there I go again with the antisocial ice bitch act. Why can't I   
ever TRY to be nice to Suboshi lately?!" she muttered. "Of course, how can   
I be nice to someone I can't even *trust*? Ever since that...that   
*incident*, I can't trust anyone except Nakago. And it's all Miaka's   
fault!"  
  
She paused.  
  
"...God, that last part sounded so childish," she grumbled. "But it's   
still true. Miaka claimed she was my best friend for all those years, then   
she stabs me in the back! She didn't even stop playing kissy-face with her   
precious Tamahome to come save me!"  
  
'Yui-chan, I'm sorry! Please listen to me!'  
  
Yui growled, pounding her fist into the pillow.  
  
"That's the *seventh time today* her whiny little voice won't leave my   
head!" she screamed. "Damn it, Miaka, why do you haunt me like this?!   
Can't you just go on with your perfect little life and your precious 'true   
love' and get out of my mind?!"  
  
'Yui-chan...'  
  
Yui ground her teeth. The more she tried to get it to go away, it just   
*wouldn't.  
  
'We promised we'd go to the same high school when this is over...'  
  
"Well, that was *before* you stole Tamahome away from me and betrayed me!"   
Yui screamed.  
  
Tamahome. He'd rescued her and Miaka from slave traders when they'd first   
arrived in this world, and they'd both fallen in love with him.  
  
'Did we? Miaka certainly did...but...'  
  
It was then that Yui realized she honestly didn't know how she felt about   
Tamahome. Sure, she'd had a huge crush on him for awhile, but when had it   
gone from a crush to a dangerous love, bordering on obsession? She'd even   
drugged Tamahome to turn him against Miaka and the other Suzaku warriors,   
so she could have him all for herself.  
  
"And that didn't accomplish anything, did it?" Yui muttered. "Well, it   
did. It crushed Miaka and reduced her into a pathetic ball of tears, and   
that's what I wanted, right? That's why I'm even summoning Seiryuu in the   
first place, so I can hurt Miaka and steal Tamahome away from her, right?"   
Her voice wavered. "Because after she picked Tamahome over me, she   
deserves it!"  
  
'She picked Tamahome over me...'  
  
"...Right..."  
  
Yui sighed, burying her face in the pillow as tears began to stream down   
her cheeks.  
  
"I'm lying to myself. I've been lying to myself all these months," she   
cried. "This never was about Tamahome, was it?" Her sobs grew heavier as   
the truth sank in. "It's Miaka. Tamahome took *her* away from me, and she   
let him. Tamahome's the reason she never came to save me, she chose to   
stay with him rather than think about *me*."  
  
But could she really be angry with Miaka?  
  
WAS she really angry with her?  
  
"No," Yui finally admitted after a long silence. "It never *was* her I was   
angry at, either. Well, maybe I was at first, and for awhile...but...it   
just *hurt*, that she forgot all about me and came back for a guy she   
hadn't even *known* that long! She used to come to *me* for everything,   
then suddenly she's clinging to Tamahome!" She sighed. "Now I'm beginning   
to wonder how I ever thought I loved him...what was I thinking?! I wanted   
to *sleep* with the guy who stole my best friend!"  
  
There, she'd admitted it. She wasn't really angry at Miaka.  
  
But she was still incredibly hurt, and that made a small part of her still   
quite angry. Even if she hadn't meant to, Miaka had still forgotten all   
about her!  
  
"I don't know what to think anymore. I'm so confused...hate, love,   
jealousy, abandonment...which is the strongest? What's more important?"  
  
Yui curled up more tightly against the pillow. Her head was starting to   
hurt from thinking about this.  
  
***  
  
An hour later, Miaka had finally stopped crying. But her head ached, and   
she felt like if she stayed in her room any longer she'd go crazy.  
  
"I need to get out of here for awhile," she muttered. She jumped up from   
the window seat, stretching her legs and grabbing her coat as she walked   
out the door.  
  
"Miaka?"  
  
Miaka stopped in her tracks, noticing Chiriko walking in the other   
direction.  
  
"Hey, Chiriko."  
  
"Miaka, where are you going? It's almost dark out," the boy asked.  
  
"I'm going for a walk. I have a lot on my mind right now," Miaka said.  
  
"Alone? But...it's getting dark out, and there could be enemy soldiers   
hiding in places! At least...let me go with you," Chiriko said, then   
thought better of it. "Well, not me...you want me to go get Tamahome or   
Tasuki? Or Chichiri?"  
  
"No thanks...I'd really rather go by myself right now. I'll be okay,"   
Miaka answered, smiling sadly. He was so sweet to worry about her, and she   
felt bad for lying and pretending everything was all right. But they had   
enough to think about lately, trying to come up with a plan to get the   
Byakko Shinzaho and still recovering from Nuriko's death. She didn't want   
to add to their worries by being depressed.  
  
"But...it's dangerous!" Chiriko protested. "Please, let me get Tamahome!"   
Miaka's chest tightened at the worried look on his face.  
  
"No...Chiriko, I appreciate your concern...but...I just need to be alone.   
Tell the others I'll probably be back in an hour or so," she said. Chiriko   
sighed sadly, reluctantly nodding his head.  
  
"Please be careful," he pleaded, impulsively hugging her arm. Miaka patted   
his shoulder, smiling awkwardly.  
  
"I will," she said. Chiriko let go of her arm, and Miaka quickly ran off   
before she ran into anyone else.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, Yui was leaving the Kutou palace when someone grabbed her arm.  
  
"Yui-sama! Where are you going at this hour?"  
  
"Suboshi..." Yui bit back the guilt from having yelled at him earlier. "I   
need to go for a walk. I'll be back in an hour or so," she said.  
  
"I'm coming with you," Suboshi said.  
  
"Thanks, but I'd rather you didn't, I need to be alone."  
  
"But it's getting dark! And those Suzaku creeps could be lurking around,   
just *waiting* to pounce!" Suboshi protested. "Yui-sama, a good Seishi   
does *not* let his priestess wander around in the dark!"  
  
"Suboshi, please! I can take care of myself," Yui insisted.  
  
"Even so, if I let you go off on your own Nakago wouldn't be very happy   
about it. And I'm *not* in the mood to listen to that guy bitch!" Suboshi   
growled slightly. Yui rolled her eyes.  
  
"Fine, but only because I don't want Nakago getting mad at either of us,"   
she said. Suboshi turned around and began to walk to his room.  
  
"I'm gonna tell Amiboshi we're leaving. Stay there, I'll be right back,"   
he said. Yui nodded. A moment later, Suboshi returned, and the two of them   
left.  
  
***  
  
'She hates me. There's no way around it anymore. I can't get her to   
listen. She hates me.'  
  
The mantra slogged through her mind as she continued to walk through the   
forest. Miaka didn't know where she was anymore, and frankly, she didn't   
care. Her head was beginning to hurt, her eyes were swollen from crying,   
and despite her warm winter coat, she felt cold.  
  
'It's my fault. I failed her, I didn't rescue her and I was careless with   
my words. I gave her the wrong idea. I'm so stupid,' she thought.  
  
***  
  
'I want to hate her. I should hate her. But I just can't! Miaka's my best   
friend, even if she's my enemy now. I just don't want to believe she'd   
betray me on purpose. But Nakago was being so nice and caring for me, he   
*saved* me. But he always gives me such an uncomfortable feeling! Miaka   
never did!'  
  
That alone should have told Yui right then and there who she could trust.   
In theory, at least.  
  
'Even if he makes me uncomfortable he took care of me! I shouldn't   
distrust him! But Miaka...I should've tried to listen to her in the first   
place. I mean...why would she lie to me about something like that?'  
  
Just then, Yui heard footsteps coming from the other direction. She   
stopped in her tracks.  
  
"What's wrong, Yui-sama?" Suboshi asked. "Are you cold?" He started to   
take off his coat (Which was really an oversized shirt he'd borrowed from   
Amiboshi) and offered it to her, but she shook her head.  
  
"No, I thought I heard something," she said quietly. The footsteps grew   
louder. "Hear that?"  
  
"Just as I thought, an enemy soldier! Now aren't you grateful I talked you   
into letting me come with you?" Suboshi asked.  
  
"It might not be. It could just be a peasant or some random person on a   
walk," Yui said. "Still, we better keep our eyes open just in case."  
  
At that moment, the figure stepped from the shadows.  
  
"Aaah!" Suboshi yelped, throwing his arms around Yui and clinging to her.  
  
"Suboshi?"  
  
"...Right!" Suboshi blushed, pulling back and preparing his Ryuuseisui.   
"Show your face and fight like a man!" he yelled to the figure.  
  
Then the person revealed themselves. Brown hair, a long pink and red   
winter coat, and a shocked expression.  
  
"M...Miaka?!"  
  
Yui stumbled backwards.  
  
"Y-Yui-chan!"  
  
Miaka froze. 'I must've walked farther than I thought!' Her first instinct   
was to panic, especially when she saw Suboshi standing by Yui. She shook   
her head, dissuading herself from these thoughts.  
  
'Even if he's an all-powerful Seiryuu Seishi, he's still only my age!'  
  
Now that that was settled, she could go over and try to talk to Yui,   
right?  
  
'She hates you. She'd never listen. You're only the source of all her pain   
and anguish, after all,' the voice in her head whispered. Miaka sighed.   
She wished she could just ignore that voice in her head, but she knew it   
was right. She *had* messed up. *She* was the reason Yui was angry with   
her!  
  
'I can't!' Tears sprang to her eyes. 'But...I have to. I can't keep   
running away from this...I can't just rely on Suzaku to bring us back   
together. If I want to make things right again, I have to do it myself!'  
  
Silently steeling her resolve, Miaka slowly walked over to Yui.  
  
Yui, meanwhile, was frozen in one spot. Her head was spinning; what was   
she going to do?! Miaka was coming right over, and she didn't know what   
she was going to say. Hell, she still didn't know what to *think*! Her   
heart pounded, and her knees felt like they were going to turn to water.  
  
'Oh *God*, why did she have to be here, why did I have to run into her   
*now*?! I just *realized* all that I did an hour ago, I can't deal with   
this, I...I have to run away!' Her mind cried '*run*', but her legs   
wouldn't listen. She closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat   
as Miaka approached her.  
  
"...Yui-chan..."  
  
But before Miaka could say anything more, Suboshi, sensing Yui's distress,   
threw himself in front of her.  
  
"DON'T move another step, priestess of Suzaku," he growled. "She's in   
enough pain without *you* coming over to fuck with her head anymore!"  
  
Miaka yelped slightly, stepping back.  
  
"Suboshi!"  
  
"You stay away from Yui-sama, you stupid wench!"  
  
Miaka's eyes narrowed. Normally, she would silently glare at Suboshi and   
walk away, maybe a bit of fear etched in her heart. But she was NOT in the   
mood to let any insult of his, no matter how little, slide tonight.  
  
"Don't you *dare* call me a wench, you *bastard*!" she screamed.  
  
Suboshi blinked, then narrowed his own angry brown eyes at her.  
  
"*What* did you call me?"  
  
"That's right, the 'wimpy' priestess of Suzaku dared to stand up to you.   
Go ahead and throw your stupid Ryuuseisui at me, you empty-headed psycho,"   
Miaka snapped.  
  
"I'd rather not spill your blood in front of Yui-sama, she might not like   
it," Suboshi said. "But, hitting your ugly face sounds like a good idea."   
He curled his hand into a fist and lunged at her, but Miaka was too quick   
for him, dodging out of the way before he hit her. Suboshi yelled out in   
pain as his fist slammed into the tree.  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"I've had just about enough of you and your 'I'll flay you alive if you so   
much as *look* at my precious Yui-sama' ways!" she growled. Suboshi glared   
at her.  
  
"Hey, you watch what you're saying, priestess of Suzaku!" he snapped. "I   
know the whole story. How Yui-sama waited in vain for you to save her but   
all you cared about was kissing that stupid Tamahome! And now, you have   
the nerve to try and *speak* to Yui-sama?! If you so much as *look* at her   
ever again, I-"  
  
"Oh, SHUT UP!" Miaka screamed, leaping forward and slapping him across the   
face. Suboshi screamed.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"  
  
"Stop acting like YOU and YOU ALONE own Yui-chan, and get over yourself!"  
  
"Well, *you* stop being such a Goody Two-Shoes who wants to LOOOOVE   
everyone!"  
  
"Well, I certainly don't like *you*! That a good enough start?!"  
  
As the insults and screams continued to fly back and forth between her   
so-called enemy and her most loyal Seishi, Yui could only stand there,   
eyes wide with shock. But when the punches began to fly, she snapped out   
of it, storming up to them.  
  
"STOP IT!"  
  
Miaka and Suboshi froze, their fists still in position.  
  
"Y-Yui-chan!"  
  
"Yui-sama?!"  
  
Growling, Yui slapped Suboshi across the face.  
  
"If you lay another finger on Miaka, I'll have you lynched!" she snapped.  
  
"Y-Yui-sama?!" Suboshi blinked.  
  
"I mean it! You stay away from Miaka, you...you *savage*!"  
  
"But...she's the reason you went through all of that! Why are you trying   
to protect someone who ruined your life?" Suboshi protested. Yui ran a   
hand through her hair, breathing deeply.  
  
"Suboshi...let *me* be the one to lay it on the line with Miaka, okay?   
Please...I know you just want to protect me and everything, but this is   
something I need to do on my own," she said.  
  
"Yui-sama..."  
  
"Please..."  
  
Suboshi sighed, looking at the girls. He didn't like the idea of leaving   
Yui alone with the enemy priestess, but if she insisted, he couldn't   
really say no.  
  
"All right, then, Yui-sama. If you're sure," he said. "I...I'm sorry for   
making you angry." He picked himself up and began to walk away.  
  
'I can't believe she's defending this girl,' he thought. But as he headed   
back to the palace, he began to wonder if there was something Yui had left   
out of the story. 'That look in her eyes when she noticed the priestess of   
Suzaku...she looked almost sad, like...she *wanted* her to come over   
and try to talk to her or something.'  
  
Suboshi shook his head.  
  
'I dunno. I still don't trust that girl...but maybe it's time I started   
letting Yui-sama fight her own battles, least where the priestess of   
Suzaku is concerned. I just hope she doesn't get hurt worse than she   
already has.'  
  
***  
  
"Miaka-" Yui began, but Miaka silenced her by placing a finger to her   
lips.  
  
"I know, you probably have a lot of yelling at me you want to do, but just   
listen to me before you say anything, please," she said. Yui blinked.   
Miaka stepped back, taking a deep breath and wringing her hands together.  
  
"Look...I know you're really upset with me about everything. I know I   
failed you as a friend, and you're angry because I got Tamahome and you   
didn't," she said. "And I know how badly you want to summon Seiryuu and   
use your wishes to make my life miserable."  
  
Yui opened her mouth, but found herself speechless.  
  
"And I know you think I only came back for Tamahome, that I'd forgotten   
about you...and that you wouldn't believe me if I tried to tell you that   
wasn't true. I admit it, Tamahome *was* part of my reason for coming back.   
But even if I was happy to see him, I was still thinking about YOU,   
Yui-chan."  
  
"I heard what you said, Miaka! I heard you gushing about how you came back   
cause you wanted to see him!" Yui said.  
  
"I know...and I'm sorry you had to overhear it."  
  
"Miaka-"  
  
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt," Miaka continued. "We've been best   
friends since we were five years old and to have you suddenly hate me and   
refuse to trust me or believe anything I say...it really hurts. Sometimes,   
I want to be angry with you for all of this...but I just can't." She   
closed her eyes, fighting back tears. "The truth is...I don't care how   
much you hurt me, or how hard your Seishi try to destroy me. I'm not   
giving up on you, Yui-chan."  
  
"Miaka..."  
  
"You mean too much for me to give up and fight you. I'm tired of seeing   
you as the enemy...the only reason I wanted to summon Suzaku so badly was   
to get you back. But I'm so sick of all the fighting...I'm sick of having   
to fight against you, Yui-chan. I...I know my Seishi are counting on my   
summoning Suzaku to save Konan, but...maybe I'm not the right girl for the   
job anymore! I can't take this anymore. I...I'm ready to just give up if   
that's what you and your Seishi want!" Miaka cried, tears threatening to   
spill over.  
  
"M-Miaka!" Yui gasped. "You..."  
  
"Yes, I'd even give up Tamahome for you!" Miaka said.  
  
"But you're in love! You guys were destined for each other!"  
  
"Come on, you really think it would work? We're from two different worlds.   
I'd miss my family and friends if I stayed here, and he'd miss everyone   
else if he came back with me. I-it just wouldn't work out," Miaka said   
quickly. "Even if my heart is broken...I'd rather give up true love than   
never see my family again...and I'd rather give up my life than keep   
fighting you!"  
  
"Miaka!"  
  
Miaka threw her arms around Yui, hugging her tightly.  
  
"I love you, Yui-chan. And I'd rather die than have you as my enemy any   
longer," she choked. Before Yui could say anything in response, Miaka   
leaned up, kissed her softly on the lips, then pulled away.  
  
"I love you," she whispered, then turned on her heel and ran away before   
Yui could answer.  
  
"Mi-!"  
  
Yui's legs nearly gave out from under her. With trembling fingers, she   
touched her lips. For several moments, she stood there, unable to   
comprehend what had just happened.  
  
Then, it registered in her mind. Somewhat.  
  
'Damn it...! I was all set to lay into her, then she had to go and pull   
something like that!' she thought indignantly. But the faint sound of   
Miaka's running footsteps snapped her out of her anger.  
  
Miaka hadn't 'pulled' anything. She'd just been telling the truth.  
  
'And she was telling the truth then, wasn't she?' Yui thought.  
  
She sighed. Maybe it was time she started trusting herself rather than   
relying on other people's actions to make her decisions for her. If Miaka   
was being sincere, there was no reason not to forgive her. Yui quickly ran   
off after Miaka's retreating form. By the time she'd nearly caught up to   
her, she was nearly out of breath. 'How can Miaka *run* this fast in such   
cold weather?! Then again, she always was good at it,' she thought. She   
grabbed Miaka's shoulder, forcing the brunette to stop in her tracks.  
  
"Let go of me!  
  
"Miaka, I'm sorry!" Yui cried. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you in the   
first place!"  
  
"You don't mean that," Miaka said stiffly. "You hate me!"  
  
"I don't hate you! I was just angry, and now I'm not anymore!"  
  
Miaka shook her head.  
  
"You can't mean that," she choked. "Even if you did, you *should* hate me   
more than anything! I messed up, I didn't save you, I gave you the wrong   
idea, everything's my fault! I'm a failure and you'll never forgive me!"  
  
"Miaka!"  
  
"I don't deserve your forgiveness, so come out and say you hate me!" Miaka   
cried, running off once more.  
  
"Miaka!!"  
  
Yui's eyes filled with tears.  
  
"...Miaka..."  
  
'You hate me!'  
  
"...I..."  
  
Yui crumbled to the ground, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
  
"I brought this all on myself," she sobbed. "I trusted a stranger over   
her, tried to steal her boyfriend, and obsessed over hurting her! I   
brought this all on myself! God, how could I have been so *stupid*?! Miaka   
would never intentionally hurt me, she didn't *mean* not to be there! How   
could I think my best friend would abandon me?! How could I listen to a   
stranger over someone who I've known for years?!"  
  
Yui buried her face in her hands, sobbing Miaka's name over and over. She   
realized now just how wrong she'd been and how much she wanted to forgive   
Miaka. But was it too late? Miaka had said she loved her, but she also had   
it in her head that Yui hated her forever. Miaka was normally very   
flexible, but this time...  
  
"I wish I could tell her I'm sorry I am and how much I love her..."  
  
Yui sniffled and slowly picked herself up. Maybe there was still time.  
  
"This time, I can't just wallow in self-pity," she muttered, dusting her   
knees off and running in the direction Miaka had been going in.  
  
***  
  
After what seemed like forever, Yui finally managed to find Miaka. She sat   
on a large rock, hugging herself tightly and shivering. Yui was seized by   
fear once more, but shook it off. It was now or never.  
  
"Miaka..."  
  
Miaka looked up, tears still glistening on her cheeks.  
  
"Yui-chan..."  
  
Yui's heart nearly broke at the sight of Miaka's tears. The tears that   
she'd caused. She didn't know what to say, and Miaka didn't either. The   
next few moments were filled with an unbearable silence.  
  
Finally, Yui swallowed and approached the rock, placing her hand on   
Miaka's shoulder.  
  
"Miaka...I'm sorry. For everything," she whispered.  
  
"You..."  
  
"Look, I...I never wanted Tamahome in the first place! I'm sorry I made   
such a big deal out of it, and I'm sorry I pushed you away when you tried   
to apologize, I'm sorry my Seishi were always trying to hurt you, I'm...  
I'm sorry for everything, Miaka, I'm just so sorry!" Yui cried, throwing   
her arms around Miaka and burying her face in her shoulder.  
  
"Y-Yui-chan!"  
  
"I'm so sorry...it was *you* I wanted, not Tamahome...I just wanted you,   
Tamahome took you away from me, I...I should've been angry at him rather   
than you," Yui sobbed. Miaka wrapped her arms tightly around Yui.  
  
"Yui-chan...I don't even know what to say. I'm thinking of a million   
things right now, but all I can say is...why? I'm the one who should be   
sorry," she said quietly.  
  
"No...even if you did make a few little mistakes, I...I'm the one who blew   
them out of proportion. I know you didn't mean to not rescue me," Yui   
said, sniffling.  
  
"I wish I hadn't taken my uniform off, though!" Miaka said. "Because of   
that, you-"  
  
"I wasn't."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Yui sighed.  
  
"I cut my leg the other day and Soi took me to the doctor so he could   
bandage it. I got the nerve to ask him to examine me, because I was still   
scared that I had a disease or might've been pregnant or something...  
and..." She blushed. "He looked me over and told me I'd never actually   
been raped to begin with," she said. Miaka sighed with relief.  
  
"I'm so glad," she murmured, burying her face against Yui's shoulder. "But   
I should've saved you from being attacked in the first place..."  
  
"Miaka...it *did* hurt to think that you'd forgotten about me, but after   
you laid it on the line with me, I realized how wrong I was to think you'd   
really hurt me. Because deep down, you're the person I care about and   
trust more than anyone. You always have been," Yui said quietly, then took   
a deep breath and pulled back a little, looking into Miaka's eyes.  
  
"I love you," she said. Miaka's eyes widened, and a tiny smile crossed her   
face.  
  
"Yui-chan..."  
  
Tears of joy replaced those of sadness as they embraced. They sat there   
for awhile, letting their past misunderstandings and regrets melt away.  
  
"Yui-chan?" Miaka finally broke the silence.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Are you still going to summon Seiryuu?" Yui tensed slightly. She knew she   
had an obligation to fulfill as the priestess of Seiryuu, but now she just   
wanted to forget all about it and stay with Miaka.  
  
"I don't know," she said. "But right now, I'd rather not think about   
that."  
  
"I understand," Miaka said quietly.  
  
"Right now...I just want to pretend only we exist," Yui whispered, holding   
Miaka close.  
  
"That sounds good," Miaka murmured. "But...we can't stay out here all   
night. It's pretty cold," she said.  
  
"It is," Yui agreed, then blinked. "And it's snowing!"  
  
"Hey..." Miaka's eyes lit up as she noticed the soft white flakes falling   
against them. "It is! And just in time for Christmas!"  
  
She paused, then put a hand to her mouth.  
  
"...It's Christmas Eve! Oh my God, I can't believe I forgot about that!"   
she gasped.  
  
"Hey, you're right!" Yui smiled. "I guess with all that stuff going on in   
our lives, we forgot," she said.  
  
They silently stood up and began to walk out of the forest.  
  
"Where are we going?" Yui asked.  
  
"Well...if you don't mind having to explain to Nakago and Suboshi and the   
others were you were all night, you could...come back to Hotohori's palace   
with me," Miaka offered.  
  
"Would I be welcome there?" Yui smiled sadly.  
  
"I'll explain everything to them...they'll understand," Miaka said.  
  
"What about Tamahome?"  
  
"Don't worry about it," Miaka reassured her friend. "It's going to be   
fine. You can even stay in my room." Yui smiled warmly.  
  
"Thank you, Miaka," she said softly.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Yui-chan," Miaka whispered.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Miaka."  
  
They embraced again, and before either of them knew what they other was   
doing, their lips met. It was a soft, innocent kiss, but they were still   
blushing when they pulled back.  
  
"Wow..." Miaka breathed.  
  
"Was I as good as Tamahome?" Yui said, half-jokingly.  
  
"Your lips are softer than his. And they tasted like vanilla," Miaka   
laughed. Yui smirked.  
  
"So I was better than him?"  
  
"Yui-chan, I can't compare you and Tamahome. My feelings for you are one   
and the same," Miaka said, her eyes shining. "Though you're much easier to   
go shopping with," she giggled. Yui laughed too, her heart soaring. A   
weight had been lifted from her chest, and she felt happier than ever As   
they walked to Konan's palace, she realized that the spirit of Christmas   
had taken hold of her when she wasn't looking, and she was glad for it.  
  
'I'm finally feeling like myself again,' she thought. 'And suddenly, I'm   
confident that everything's going to work out. For me, for Miaka, and for   
everyone else. I just know it will.'  
  
***  
  
~End~  
  
***  
  
YES! It's finally finished! *happy dance* And I'm rather proud of how it   
came out, too. ^_^ I just hope Suboshi wasn't out of character, suddenly   
deciding to trust Miaka alone with Yui. But, I think if Yui insisted he   
trust her, he would...he wouldn't like it, but he also wouldn't say no to   
Yui. XD Besides, he's not really a bad kid and he really does care about   
Yui. He's just really overzealous. ^_^  
  
As for the alternate universe setting, I hope it was handled well. I know   
it's probably not exactly near Christmastime in volume 9 (Even with all   
the snow in Hokkan!), but even though I'm basing it off of that timeline,   
it's not exactly set within those confines. As for Amiboshi's return when   
Ashitare died, I was going to say it was a coincidence, but then I   
remembered that the other Seishi had felt it when Nuriko died, and that   
Suboshi had felt Ashitare's chi being gone. So I figured that even if he   
was faking memory loss, Amiboshi would be able to feel it at least a   
little when Ashitare was dead. After all, the Seiryuu Seishi are more   
powerful when it comes to their chi, so it would make some sense, I'd   
think.  
  
And last but not least...yes, Miaka and Yui DID mean "I love you" in a   
romantic way. It may seem like Miaka "resolved" the issue of Yui vs.   
Tamahome rather fast, but her line about not being able to compare them   
pretty much said it all. It's based on the lyrics in Miaka's image song   
"Still", and her conversation with Chichiri in volume 7. She loves them   
both enough to give her life for them, and she wants to stay with them   
forever. Now, the matter of Tamahome being willing to share Miaka...that's   
another story. But, I'd think he would understand. *laughs*  
  
Anyway, that's enough of this author's ramblings. Merry Christmas! ^_^ 


End file.
